It's Not You, It's Me That Needs to Change

In Jeremiah 18:1–6, God reveals a powerful truth through the image of a potter working with clay. When the clay becomes marred, the potter doesn’t discard it—he patiently reshapes it into something new and useful. In marriage, this illustration reminds us that each spouse is like clay in the hands of the Master Potter.

But here’s the key: The potter doesn’t work with clay that resists his hands. Just like the clay, we must be moldable—not focused on how our spouse needs to change, but on how we need to surrender to God’s transforming work.

In marriage, conflict or frustration can lead spouses to point fingers. But Jeremiah’s message is clear: God is not asking us to reshape our spouse. He’s asking us to place ourselves on the wheel. The transformation of a marriage often begins when one or both partners stop blaming and start changing.

Verses:

Jeremiah 18:1-6

Proverbs 16:18-20

2Corinthians 4:3-4

Romans 10:14-17

Romans 12:1-2

Discussion Questions:

Icebreaker: What’s one way you’ve changed for the better since getting married (or started dating)?

1.    Why is it difficult to trust God with your spouse’s sanctification journey, the molding and transformation process of becoming more Christlike?

2.    What areas are you currently allowing God to shape our spouse, that you’ve tried to force change in the past? How has this helped your marriage?

3.    Are there areas in your life where you’ve been resisting God’s shaping? What would surrender look like?

4.    What steps can you commit to, to apply this teaching to your marriage this week?